drama

I don’t like drama in my life. There has been drama that is not welcomed and I hope it goes away. Unfortunately it happens to be at my place of work.  All I want is to be left alone to do my work in peace.  I also want my guy to be left alone you crazy woman!!!  Move on with your life and leave us in peace.

The end

it worked

So I just checked out to see if my last post was there and it surely was. YAY.

I’m so glad. I can now write while at work when I have some down time – so that will help keep me awake during the night as I work midnight shift. 11pm to 7am.

Some people ask me how I can work this shift. I just tell them it is what works for me and my son.  That’s all that matters. I’m thankful that my family keeps him at night and my mom will take him to school in the mornings (so I can get home to sleep) and I pick him up afterwards and spend the evenings with him and we do it all over again. This week I  am working a few 12 hour shifts – 7p to 7a. So Colson has to go to my parents earlier and instead of me putting him to bed and taking a nap before work, my mom puts him to bed.  So glad that he is good for my parents. That really helps and takes stress off of me.

I’ve been in a bit of a rut fashion wise – but I do work in a manufacturing plant and although I do work in an office, I have to go out on the floor a few times a night and it’s filthy out there.  So I can’t wear my nice clothes or shoes. I ended up going to Goodwill to get clothes for work, and I usually just wear tennis shoes because of how big it is and all the walking I do.  Though, now that I am dating someone, I do get to look nice from time to time.  But he loves my down to earth look. The sweats and t-shirt comfy clothes that I wear when we are just hanging out at home. Since I have Colson, we do just hang out a lot. I’m such a homebody anymore – but we will be heading out in a couple weeks and I’m looking forward to getting dressed up and looking nice for my guy.

Speaking of my guy – some may know my history some may not. I have been separated from my sons dad for almost 2 years now and I am waiting to come up with the money for the lawyer for the divorce or I should say dissolution.  My guy knows this and understand and basically said he really didn’t care – he knows I’m separated and that I’ll be done soon.  This guy/man is amazing.  We starting seeing one another the beginning of November and have basically been inseparable since.  He is not one that I thought I would end up with. But I have completely fallen head over heels in love with him.  I know this is really truly that man I am supposed to be with.  The feelings I have with him are not what I had with Colson’s dad.  We are just so compatible in so many different areas.  He and Colson have bonded and that is just wonderful!  It will be so wonderful to be divorced so I can really truly be with him. Who knows what will happen, I just know we will be together for a very long time!!

So I think this will be all for now. I’m not sure if this will even be read, but I’m it will be nice to just write again – my online journal. J

 

i forgot

Just testing the email to blog thing again.

 

If I can do this, then maybe I’ll post some random rambles again from work. 

I miss writing and miss blogging.

I don’t have time to read them. I just cleaned up my bloglovin’ yesterday – whoa nelly was there a lot there. 

 

Stay tuned…

Trying this out

Just testing blogging from my new phone. Not sure how it's going to go or look or if I am back back. Ya know? But anyways...I am here for now.

not into it

sadly i haven't been into blogging let alone even reading some blogs - i will scroll through my favorites and read those, but that's it. i used to go through each and every one - maybe not ready every single word, but scan through so I would get the idea of what was being written about.
my mind has been elsewhere lately. i have things going on in my life and just haven't had the extra time or energy to blog. i do hope to get back to it. if i can get myself on a good schedule, then maybe i can add it in a few times a week. we'll see.
but i have been running. finally got to 3 miles saturday morning. it felt so good!! i think i could have gone longer, but i knew i had to get back to cj.
the first block of school is done ~~ final grade in both classes - A+ i was quite proud of myself. now I am onto the 2nd block and so far - eehhh, not quite sure i like either one of my classes. poo.
cj and i enjoyed the sun sunday as we spent the day at my aunt's pool. i got too much sun since i floated around for about an hour or so while my mom tried to get cj to nap. fail. he didn't. so he went to bed early last night.
things still up in the air about hubs. well i know how they will end up, but not sure he does. or even wants to say it. whatever dude.
alright - well a ramble for you.
hope everyone has a great week!!

Happy Memorial Day!!

I am a proud Veteran of the US Army.  I am proud to have served as well as know many that have and still do! Thank you for your Service!! You are honored and thanked today!!
and to husband. We may have our ups and downs, but I am very proud of you and what you do and thank you for your service and sacrifice for us.

runaway

ya sometimes do you wish you could runaway. i do. often. maybe more than  i should.

but on october 9, in Washington, D.C. - I get to do just this - runaway! eerrr i mean run that is.
Run 10 miles. in the Army 10 Miler! Go check it out!

Does anyone know anyone that is running in it?

I am so super nervous as I've never run this far ever in my life. I have found a great training guide, but with all of this rain I'm not sure if I'll get to it. I don't have access to a treadmill on a daily basis, so it's tough. but i'm going to do it. i am very determined to do this for me and me alone.

I am planning on running with some ladies from HerWarHerVoice  - I would just like to maybe get in touch with those that are running to chat before hand and to see how they run, any tricks, if maybe they are staying at same hotel, and so on...

anyways....i'm hoping - ya hoping is the key word here - to post about the training and how i'm doing and of course post as much as i can about the run.

Mama’s Day

oh wow. today was a very emotional day for me. not having hubs here is tough on me for mothers day. I don’t know why because he hasn’t ever done anything or gifted me with something nice for it. I just wanted him to hang w/cj so I could do my thing today. that’s all. thankfully my parents picked up cj for church this morning and I went and walked 4 miles with my sister at the park then went tanning. got home just in time for them getting back here. cj came up the walk with flowers for me – I cried. he also had a musical card for me which he proceeded to open so he could dance to it! lol.  but I haven’t had much, if any, contact w/hubs in the past couple weeks and I’ve been super stressed, worried, emotional. I want to say how I feel, but I’ve been feeling that I’ve offended people because of my emotional state lately. oh anyways. who cares. if you can’t deal with me, my emotions of hubs away, my stresses, then I guess it’s not worth stressing over. I did get a 5 second call from hubs and all that was said: me, “hello?” him, “happy mothers day” me, “thank you baby” him, “I gotta go, I love you” me “I love you too” – click. that was it. that’s the first time we’ve spoken in weeks. emails/instant messages? – 1 in 10 days. can you say STRESS AND WORRY 24/7?

~~~I have always wondered and worried if I will be a better mom to colson than what my mom ever was to me. I’m not getting into all of that now, but at least now she’s in our lives – more so his than mine, but that’s okay. I wouldn’t trade being a mom for anything, but there are days and many days lately that I just am tired. I wish for my husband, his dad, my partner to be there to back me up, to give me a bit of a break in parenting. this is very tiring work doing this alone.

plus down to the last 3 weeks of my first block of school – all 3 weeks there is a largish paper due. yuck!

I have an interview (FINALLY) on Tuesday and it’s perfect location, sounds easy enough for me to do now, could be good long-term if need be.

other than that stuff I have personal/physical issues in my brain I’m dealing with.

but anyways…here are some photos of CJ and I before dinner with the family on Saturday night to celebrate mom’s day early – avoidance of huge crowds with a 4.5 yr old wild man. and then from mama’s day…

 

outfit of the night – can almost see his shorts-they have navy blue lobsters embroidered on them (cutest things) was a bit chilly so instead of the usual black I wore this really loose/batwing type cardigan in this brown color from Express and the maxi is from Forever 21

do you have any idea how difficult it was to get him to take a decent pic with me? ugh! that and my camera was taking blurry pics.

my baby boy with the bouquet of flowers that he picked out for me. so pretty and love the colors!!

he just came up behind me while I was doing some school work today and wrapped his lil arms around my neck and said I love you mommy, u r the bestest mommy. oh my gosh – break my heart!!

 

but I leave you with a funny story…while he was taking his bath tonight, I was in the kitchen washing some dishes and he calls me in the bathroom, I go in, and he looks at me and smiles and just says “buttocks” and started to laugh hysterically.

he will say the most random things…

 

hope you moms had a great day today. mine was a rollercoaster, but overall was a good day…

now we’ll see how tomorrow goes…

7

I just read 7 random things over at Miss Kait Online so I thought since it is year 7 of me and hubby being just that, I would do this.

1. In high school I played basketball and twice in that time, once my freshman year and once my sophomore year, I got to play on the Cleveland Cavaliers basketball court – it is now called Quicken Loans Stadium. talk about an awesome experience.

2. When I was in 2nd grade, I got this somewhat rare skin disorder – pityriasis lichenoides chronica. I have the scar on my abdomen where they had to get a sample to see what it was. Thankfully it’s faded for the most part and was never contagious. Odd.

3. I want to go skydiving – hubs and I almost did on our honeymoon, but passed it up.

4. I want to be able to run in the Marine Corps. marathon in Washington, DC someday! My hubs lost his friend from high school that was a Marine and his family runs it and would be a total honor to run it with them.

5. I love, no wait, I mean I LOVE the smell of citrus. orange, grapefruit, lemon – not as much lime, but it’s still good. I’m an addict I think, so much so that when I heard that bath and body works was discontinuing Orange Sapphire – my all time favorite scent from there – I have now 5 lotions and another body spray in the cupboard. and I am hoping to get more…

6. I have a fascination with WWII, the Holocaust and all that is around that time-frame. I love watching documentaries on that time. I love the war movies, reading about the Holocaust.

7. I like to sit with CJ and watch cartoons with him.

 

So what are 7 random things about you??

if you do this, link back so I can read too!!

Quote of the Day

“What you will do matters. All you need to do is do it.”

― Judy Grahn