oh wow. today was a very emotional day for me. not having hubs here is tough on me for mothers day. I don’t know why because he hasn’t ever done anything or gifted me with something nice for it. I just wanted him to hang w/cj so I could do my thing today. that’s all. thankfully my parents picked up cj for church this morning and I went and walked 4 miles with my sister at the park then went tanning. got home just in time for them getting back here. cj came up the walk with flowers for me – I cried. he also had a musical card for me which he proceeded to open so he could dance to it! lol. but I haven’t had much, if any, contact w/hubs in the past couple weeks and I’ve been super stressed, worried, emotional. I want to say how I feel, but I’ve been feeling that I’ve offended people because of my emotional state lately. oh anyways. who cares. if you can’t deal with me, my emotions of hubs away, my stresses, then I guess it’s not worth stressing over. I did get a 5 second call from hubs and all that was said: me, “hello?” him, “happy mothers day” me, “thank you baby” him, “I gotta go, I love you” me “I love you too” – click. that was it. that’s the first time we’ve spoken in weeks. emails/instant messages? – 1 in 10 days. can you say STRESS AND WORRY 24/7?
~~~I have always wondered and worried if I will be a better mom to colson than what my mom ever was to me. I’m not getting into all of that now, but at least now she’s in our lives – more so his than mine, but that’s okay. I wouldn’t trade being a mom for anything, but there are days and many days lately that I just am tired. I wish for my husband, his dad, my partner to be there to back me up, to give me a bit of a break in parenting. this is very tiring work doing this alone.
plus down to the last 3 weeks of my first block of school – all 3 weeks there is a largish paper due. yuck!
I have an interview (FINALLY) on Tuesday and it’s perfect location, sounds easy enough for me to do now, could be good long-term if need be.
other than that stuff I have personal/physical issues in my brain I’m dealing with.
but anyways…here are some photos of CJ and I before dinner with the family on Saturday night to celebrate mom’s day early – avoidance of huge crowds with a 4.5 yr old wild man. and then from mama’s day…


outfit of the night – can almost see his shorts-they have navy blue lobsters embroidered on them (cutest things) was a bit chilly so instead of the usual black I wore this really loose/batwing type cardigan in this brown color from Express and the maxi is from Forever 21


do you have any idea how difficult it was to get him to take a decent pic with me? ugh! that and my camera was taking blurry pics.



my baby boy with the bouquet of flowers that he picked out for me. so pretty and love the colors!!



he just came up behind me while I was doing some school work today and wrapped his lil arms around my neck and said I love you mommy, u r the bestest mommy. oh my gosh – break my heart!!
but I leave you with a funny story…while he was taking his bath tonight, I was in the kitchen washing some dishes and he calls me in the bathroom, I go in, and he looks at me and smiles and just says “buttocks” and started to laugh hysterically.
he will say the most random things…
hope you moms had a great day today. mine was a rollercoaster, but overall was a good day…
now we’ll see how tomorrow goes…